“What’s the least-awkward way to expand your social circle?”

Have you ever asked yourself that question? As introverts, we have a tendency to spend more time by ourselves than with others.

And we’re generally okay with that.

I know a few people who have one or two friends. And that’s all they need.

But whether or not you’re okay with a few friends, there WILL come a time when you need a network.

What will you do, for instance, when you need…

1. Help finding a job?
2. Expert advice?
3. Mentoring?
4. A spouse?
5. A business partner?
6. New friends?
7. Feedback on your ideas?
8. Encouragement and support?

The best time to expand your social circle and network is NOW – before you need it.

But just the thought of meeting lots of new people can make an introvert sick to his stomach. Awkward conversations and small talk, anyone?

“No, Thank You!”

Fortunately, meeting new people and expanding your social circle doesn’t have to be so bad. You can do it from a point of strength and maybe even enjoy the process.

It’s all a matter of HOW you go about it.

Join a Hobby or Interest Group.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to attend a networking event or hang out at the mall to meet new people. Your best bet when it comes to connecting with others is to build relationships on a common interest.

Think about what you love to do. Then, go join a hobby or interest group devoted to that passion.

Harvey Mackay, author of Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty, used this strategy to jumpstart his career. Shortly after college, Harvey talked the leaders of the country club into letting him in without an initiation fee.

Harvey was an accomplished golfer. He knew that if he could get into the club, his golf prowess would lead to some great connections. And it did!

I’ve met a lot of people through sports. I played basketball and volleyball in high school and college. And, after graduating, I played in a bunch of pickup games and summer leagues. I’ve met people and made connections on the court that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

But don’t sweat if you’re not into sports.

Are computers your thing? My brother-in-law loves Macs. He and his father used to attend a yearly conference devoted to new and up-and-coming Macintosh technology. Events and clubs like the ones he attended are great ways to meet people who share your interest.

When it comes down to it, all relationships are built on common interests.

What group or club could you join that would give you opportunities to meet new people while doing something you love? 

Pretend You’re a Socialite.

If you want to expand your social circle and meet more people, pretend to be a person who connects easily and comfortably with others.

A lot of times, as introverts, we imagine ourselves having a hard time meeting new people and getting caught in awkward conversations.

Avoid thinking these thoughts. They only hold you back!

Instead, imagine yourself making new friends. Picture yourself connecting with people comfortably and easily. And then think about how the new you would do it.

Then, go pretend to be that person. Start small and meet a few people. Remember, pretend to be comfortable, even if you’re not.

Then repeat this process.

Connecting skills are like muscles: the more you use them, the stronger they get. And who you pretend to be is who you’ll become.

How would the social you behave? How can you change the way you think about yourself as a connector?

One sure way to accelerate this process is to spend time with someone who’s already a great connector.

Find a Mentor or Connector.

One of the best ways to meet new people is to find a mentor or a connector to hang out with.

Who could you spend time with that already has a bigger circle of influence than you do? The person doesn’t have to be a socialite.

In fact, it may be ideal for you to find another introvert who’s had success connecting with more people. He will better understand the challenges that you are up against. And he’ll be able to offer you advice that works for a person with your temperament.

Spend time with the mentor when he goes to social functions. Observe how he relates to others. Then, imitate him.

This is a proven way to learn.

You and your mentor can talk about ways to meet new people, where to go, and how to do it. Your mentor will also be able to introduce you to people he knows.

Church, work, and interest groups that you belong to are good places to find a mentor.

But what if I can’t find a mentor?

Don’t fret if you can’t find a mentor. Do you know a friend or family member with lots of connections? Consider hanging out with and learning from him for a while.

While the relationship will lack the formality of a mentorship, you can still learn a boatload from watching him and spending time with him. (Especially if he’s got a good balance of time alone and time with others…)

The more you hang out with him, the more people you’ll meet. Meeting the people in his network is a great way to expand your social circle.

Who can you start learning from TODAY?

What strategies have you used to expand your social circle?