How do you stay in touch with friends as an introvert?

Most of the time, I prefer staying home to going out. I love alone time. And, if you’re an introvert, I’d hazard a guess that you love your downtime too.

It’s hard to beat peace and quiet. Every introvert needs both to recharge.

There’s just one problem with being alone all the time. You can’t do it AND have friends. Friendships, like all relationships, take time and energy.

And all introverts do need friends. So there’s a tension to be managed here.

We need to stay sufficiently connected while ensuring we have adequate downtime.

So how do you do that? Check out my simple system.

The system boils down to five easy steps. Follow them, and you’ll be able to stay in touch with friends each week. It only takes a little time and energy.

1. Choose a few friends.

The first step to keeping up with friends is to choose a few that you really want to keep in touch with.

Don’t ditch your other friends. Just start with a few that you can commit to staying in touch with. Think, Who could I serve with a weekly message or email? And Who could spur me on? 

If it’s at all possible, try to keep your list to ten people. If you try to stay in touch with too many friends, you’ll get overwhelmed and quit.

2. Add your friends to your calendar.

Once you’ve got your list, add your friends to your calendar.

I enter each friend’s name as a calendar event. And I only add one or two people per day. This makes the task more doable, so you’re more likely to stay in touch with friends over time.

Also, consider leaving Saturday or Sunday free each week. Use the extra day to play catch up if you get busy or forget to message someone.

Finally, when you add a friend to your calendar, enter his name as a recurring event. I write “Message [Name]” and set the event to recur every week on a particular day.

Recurring events save time because I don’t have to enter new events in my calendar each week. And I don’t have to remember to enter anything since the events recur automatically.

3. Get in touch.

Once your calendar’s set, start messaging.

When I contact a friend, I usually send a text message or email. And I ask only a few questions. I seldom compose a long email.

This is because I’m thinking of the long run. I want to send the kind of messages that I’ll be able to send every week no matter what.

As you think about how you’ll connect with your friends, think about the mode of communication you like best. Do you prefer talking on the phone? Texting? Snail mail? Do what works for you.

4. Keep Records.

Evernote is another vital part of my communication system.

I’ve created a note in Evernote for each of my friends. In each friend’s note, I log the date of my last contact. And I also record what we talked about.

This habit helps me stay on top of my friends’ lives. It’s…

• A fresh source of relevant questions
• A database for our relationship
• And a prayer guide

I send a lot of texts via the Message app on my Mac. So, when I want to save important information from a text, I just copy the message and paste it into Evernote. This is a major benefit of digital communication.

I have Evernote on my phone too. So I can reference my notes on the go as well.

When you keep a record of your communication and stay in touch with friends each week, you’ll always know what to say.

5. Think spring!

As you start using this system, remember its place.

While your texts and emails will help you keep in touch with friends, these messages are only springboards to other get-togethers. Breakfasts, dinners, concerts, hangouts, and the like are where the real connecting takes place. So be open to getting out once a week or a couple times a month.

What friendships could this simple system help you invest in?