Do you have a hard time putting what’s in your head into words? Do you wish you could speak more clearly and that others understood you better?
If you answered “yes,” you’re not alone. Many INFJs struggle to keep their words succinct and to-the-point because there’s so much going on in their minds all at once. At any given moment, an INFJ may be…
- Tracing patterns
- Searching for underlying meanings
- Processing verbal and nonverbal signals
- Replaying a prior conversation
- Wrestling with deep questions
- Figuring out which feelings are hers and which are someone else’s
- Planning the future
The INFJ mind is a gift and curse: it allows an INFJ to make incredible connections, see the big picture, and predict likely futures. But it also makes clear, linear communication a challenge.
And to-the-point, straightforward talk is what most people in the world are looking for.
The good news is that you can improve your communication skills. If you’d like to get better at sharing what’s on your mind clearly and concisely, check out these five strategies.
How can you tell if you’re an INFJ or INFP?
I’ve gotten this question a lot lately, and it’s a good one. At first, it can be hard to tell the two apart because they do seem to share a lot in common. For a long time, before I got a better understanding of the Myers-Briggs personality system, I thought that I was an INFP. If you’re struggling to tell the difference like I was, there are some clear ways to tell the two personalities apart.
We’ll discuss 7 in this article.
How important is it for an INFJ to make time to create?
Several years ago when I was taking classes for my master’s degree, teaching, and coaching volleyball all at one time, I was getting sick 3 to 4 times per year. I lived on antibiotics. And up until recently, I chocked my poor health up to working with kids, living in an older house, and not getting enough rest.
But recently, I read a book that said INFJs who don’t have a creative outlet will get stifled, frustrated, and sick. In short, their inner distress will manifest itself in physical illness.
Looking back, I realize that one of the biggest issues for me, aside from having to manage too many details, was that I didn’t make time to create. Certainly, other factors contributed to my poor health, but I’m convinced lack of creativity was a big part of the problem. Ever since I started spending time each day songwriting, writing blog posts, recording podcasts, making videos, etc., I haven’t felt nearly as sick or discouraged.
Have you wrestled with chronic illness, regular sickness, or discouragement? A big part of it might just be because you’re not creating enough.
What’s the best way to find a spouse as an INFJ?
When I was single, I got tired of waiting for the love of my life to show up on my doorstep. Looking back, I guess I’d expected to bump into her. I didn’t anticipate any effort on my part, at least when it came to searching.
But then I read a Proverb that changed my perspective: “He who finds a wife finds what is good.” The word that hit me in that statement was “find.” I realized could find a wife like finding a penny on the sidewalk, without any effort. Or I could find her like finding my lost iPhone when I’m intentionally looking for it.
Armed with this new perspective and motivated by a healthy discontentment, I took the first step I could think of.
What do most INFJs long for? Answer: Real, authentic friendships.
They want to be known and appreciated for who they are. They want someone to empathize with and understand them in the way they do other people. The challenge is finding someone who appreciates what you do and the way you think in a world where the vast majority of people operate so differently.
The more I reflect on my own life and relationships, the more I realize how important friendships with other intuitives are. Some of the friendships that I enjoy most are with INTPs, INFPs, ENFPs, and the like. The way we approach life and things we care about are similar.
Today, let’s take a brief look at why relationships with other intuitives can be both refreshing and rewarding for you as an INFJ.
What’s one question you need to stop asking? It’s one that’ll make you restless until you do something about it. The answer?
As an INFJ, you know what it’s like to come up with an idea or vision you’re excited about only to put it off or keep it to yourself because of fear: fear of failure, fear of friends and family not understanding, and fear of wasting time.
I spent too long keeping my ideas to myself because I worried about what people would say. I wanted to know for sure that they’d like my work even before I started. Additionally, I feared wasting time.
But eventually, as I grew more and more unhappy keeping my ideas to myself, inner turmoil forced me to confront that question – What if?
Can you relate?
Why is it so hard to put your ideas into the world? Why do we think this way? And what can you do about it?
Do you ever wish you had more confidence?
A lot of INFJs do. Most are intelligent, creative, caring people, but they fall prey to feelings of inferiority and brokenness because they think and behave so differently than the rest of the world.
It doesn’t help that INFJs tend to be perfectionists either. While they often extend grace to others, they’re demanding of themselves.
And when the world constantly reminds you that you’re different and you have to measure up to your own high standards, it’s easy to start beating yourself up. It’s no surprise, then, that many INFJs could use a confidence boost.
The good news is that your confidence is like a muscle: You can strengthen it through regular exercise. Here are 5 ways to do just that.
I recently came across a line that arrested my attention:
INFJs “prefer to focus in great depth on one thing at a time, which can result in periods of single-mindedness.”
It stopped me in my tracks and made me think about the kind of work I really love. And when I say “work I love,” I’m referring to the thinking and doing that bring me to life – researching, synthesizing, and creating – not necessarily what I do to pay the bills.
The thinking I love allows me to focus deeply on one thing at a time, as the quote suggests, and it’s usually project-based in nature. I’m guessing you also enjoy projects for the focus they afford you.
Check out these five reasons why project-based work fires an INFJ up.
Jane was overwhelmed. She was wasting hours on her computer getting sucked down YouTube rabbit trails every day after work while spending almost no time with friends and family. Deep down inside, she was entertaining dark, discouraging thoughts but let no one know about them. Jane wondered if the world really even needed her at all. Though she didn’t realize it, she was stressed out – big time.
Fellow INFJ, how can you tell when you’re stressed out and what can you do about it?
How do you have the perfect day as an INFJ?
By “perfect day” I’m referring to the way you’d organize your day if you were completely in control of it.
Many of us work jobs or have responsibilities that require us to begin the day working in an area of weakness while leaving our strengths on the shelf. For instance, you may have to start by cooking breakfast for your family or you may have to answer emails first thing in the morning at your job when you’d rather be learning, advising, or creating.
Elaine Schallock of PersonalityJunkie.com theorizes that, if given the choice, INFJs would be happiest working through their functional stack, or four mindsets, starting with our greatest strength and ending with our weakness. Would scheduling your day as I describe in the rest of the article make it more meaningful, productive, and enjoyable?