The INFJ personality type is the rarest, comprising only one-and-a-half percent of the population. INFJs may never meet another person like themselves in their lifetime, and as intuitives, they’re numbered among the outliers since sensors make up 70 percent of the population.
In America, the preferred personality type is the ESTJ – the polar opposite of the INFJ. With the INFJ personality type being so rare and the culture at large favoring your opposite, it can be easy to feel left out, broken, misunderstood, and unappreciated. Complicating matters, INFJs possess a powerful desire to make a difference with their lives, fulfill their potential, do meaningful work, and live a life congruent with their high personal standards. INFJs put a great deal of pressure on themselves and expect that the ideal futures they vividly envision will become reality, but most people have a hard time understanding this desire.
For these reasons and more, it’s vital that people with the INFJ personality type understand themselves. They need to grasp who they are, understand their strengths, gain an appreciation of what makes them different from other types, and realize that they are normal – just different. When an INFJ learns these things, he or she can be more confident and plan a better, more productive path into the future.
Do you ever find yourself fixating on an idea, theory, problem, or thought? Do you struggle to get what you’re thinking about out of your head?
For a week or so, I’ve been getting headaches because my computer monitors are too low. My wife pointed this out and recommended that I get monitor risers for them. She made this observation last week, but I haven’t been able to get it out of my head today.
“My dad could help you build some,” she suggested. While I liked that solution at first, I know it’ll probably take a few weeks to execute. I want to check this problem off of my to-do list stat. And so I keep researching and thinking about solutions. Meanwhile, I’m putting off other responsibilities.
Can you relate? This dilemma confronts me on regular basis. If it’s not a piece of tech gear, it’s a question, theory, or idea that the curious, creative side of me has to pursue.
Whether you get caught up in thinking about computer monitor risers or theories and ideas, know that you’re in good company. Most INFJs “get stuck” fixating from time to time.
So Why does this happen? And What can you do about it? I offer you the following explanation and a few practical solutions.
That’s what my father often told my mother. What he meant was that she was happiest when learning a new skill, solving a problem, or tackling a difficult challenge. She’d never be content following the same old processes and procedures for any length of time.
Last week, another INFJ reminded me how much we love to learn and grow. He said he’d typically move onto a new skill or topic every two years. Once he’d master something, he’d lose interest, even if he was good enough to garner 1.3 million views on YouTube.
Can you relate? Do you bounce from interest to interest every couple years? Or do you wonder whether or not you have the capacity to stick with a skill or interest for any length of time?
What’s an INFJ’s greatest opportunity for growth? Answer: Extroverted feeling (Fe).
In plain English, Fe is the ability to pick up on people’s emotions and promote group harmony. It zeroes in on pleasing others. And it’s the reason so many INFJs are excellent caretakers, listeners, and humanitarians.
Fe is also a function that INFJs develop over time. While it doesn’t come as quickly or naturally as introverted intuition (Ni), INFJs’ dominant cognitive function (or mindset), it’s still vital to personal growth.
In general, INFJs with a strong grasp of Fe enjoy…
Better social skills and emotional intelligence
More opportunities to influence others with their ideas, theories, and observations
Healthier relationships with family, friends, and coworkers
A greater long-term impact on the world
So if you really want to grow as an INFJ, you’d be wise to intentionally exercise this function. In this article, we’ll take a deeper look at why Fe is an INFJ’s greatest opportunity for growth as well as explore several specific ways you can develop it.
Do you ever tell people what they want to hear to keep the peace, even though you don’t completely agree with what you’re saying?
I’m cringing as I write, but I’m 100% guilty of this. If I’m working with a teaching colleague, for instance, and he asks me my opinion of an instructional strategy or lesson plan framework we’re putting together, I’ll often tell him I like the approach we’re taking even when I don’t.
I do this mostly when I know the approach is…
Something he thought up
Something he believes in strongly
The strategy doesn’t violate my beliefs or values
I compromise thinking it will benefit our partnership, but I wish I were more forthright. It’s just that I absolutely hate interpersonal conflict.
My wife’s been calling me on the carpet recently. She tells me it’s a significant issue that won’t go away unless I do something about it. While I know she’s right, I’m so used to withdrawing, playing along, or working by myself to avoid a spat I don’t want to think about change.
Can you relate?
Is there ever a good reason why you and I should risk conflict? Are the possible gains worth the potential interpersonal turmoil and hurt?
Check out these 5 reasons you should consider “rocking the boat” more often.
Over the past 3 to 4 years, I’ve had 2 people pouring into me that have made a tremendous difference in my life. One of them I met through my church. The other I paid to coach me.
What’s true about both of them is that they’ve saved me HOURS! I don’t waste nearly as much time trying to figure out what to do or where to go because I have trusted guides to turn to. They’ve been where I want to go, and they show me the way. Their guidance has made all the difference for me.
I never thought I’d…
Start a blog
Launch a podcast
Write an eBook
Create a course
But they helped me do it. Fast.
Your goals may be different than mine, but I know you’ve got dreams. Start by believing you can make them a reality. Then, find a mentor.
If you’re not sure where to look, check out these 4 proven strategies that’ll connect you with the right guides!
Have you ever been working on something and getting to the point of optimal focus and productivity only to be unexpectedly interrupted by someone or something? Your focus shatters and falls to the ground like shards of glass, while you’re left feeling angry, frustrated, anxious, and a whole slew of other negative feelings.
It’s especially tough for us INFJs because we require quiet to do our best work and to employ our greatest strength, introverted intuition. In The INFJ: Understanding the Mystic, Susan Storm writes:
“When using Introverted Intuition, INFJs enter a nearly meditative state, where they consider how various insights could lead to a future outcome. Noise, bright lights, and any type of interruption can all unsettle the INFJ and make them lose focus and composure.”
Once you’ve been interrupted, it often takes 20 to 30 minutes to get back to a state of flow, assuming you’re able to quickly fight off the emotions. Then, you’ll need to do the work of remembering and piecing together what you were working on before.
The good news is that you can make some minor tweaks that’ll make a big difference for you. Try any one of these 4 strategies, and it’ll almost instantly lead to more quiet, fewer interruptions, and increased happiness for your INFJ brain.
Do you have a hard time putting what’s in your head into words? Do you wish you could speak more clearly and that others understood you better?
If you answered “yes,” you’re not alone. Many INFJs struggle to keep their words succinct and to-the-point because there’s so much going on in their minds all at once. At any given moment, an INFJ may be…
Searching for underlying meanings
Processing verbal and nonverbal signals
Replaying a prior conversation
Wrestling with deep questions
Figuring out which feelings are hers and which are someone else’s
Planning the future
The INFJ mind is a gift and curse: it allows an INFJ to make incredible connections, see the big picture, and predict likely futures. But it also makes clear, linear communication a challenge.
And to-the-point, straightforward talk is what most people in the world are looking for.
The good news is that you can improve your communication skills. If you’d like to get better at sharing what’s on your mind clearly and concisely, check out these five strategies.
I’ve gotten this question a lot lately, and it’s a good one. At first, it can be hard to tell the two apart because they do seem to share a lot in common. For a long time, before I got a better understanding of the Myers-Briggs personality system, I thought that I was an INFP. If you’re struggling to tell the difference like I was, there are some clear ways to tell the two personalities apart.