One of the biggest frustrations plaguing INFJs is the fact that other people don’t “get” them. A little over 70 percent of all people on this planet are sensors, folks who are tuned into either the “here and now” or the past.
Sensors care about the practical details of life – chores, bills, and neighborhood happenings. They trust what they can observe with their senses and take it at face value. Most don’t normally go below the surface to search for implications and deeper meaning or think about what could be and future possibilities.
We’re far more removed from the present and the past than the average person. That’s not to say that we don’t think about either. It’s just that we tend to prefer thinking about future possibilities and a better future for ourselves and others.
The difference between us and the rest of the world is stark. Many people don’t understand that our way of thinking is both legitimate and important because it’s so rare and misunderstood. The INFJ personality type is the rarest of all 16 Myers-Briggs types, after all, making up only 1.5 percent of the population.
But what if there were a way for you to enjoy better relationships with the sensors in your life, on that helped them understand you better? In this post, I’ll share a proven strategy that I’ve used to help other people understand and appreciate my INFJ personality.
One of the biggest challenges for an INFJ is finding a satisfying career.
We’re not content to do just any work. We want to do work that we’re passionate about and that makes a difference in the world.
It doesn’t help that suitable INFJ careers are hard to come by. The world doesn’t have our gifts in mind when it creates job write ups, which is no surprise, considering we’re the rarest personality type.
While well-meaning people will try to give you helpful advice, most of the time their advice ends up being more harmful than it is helpful, especially for INFJs who don’t know themselves well yet.
This begs the question: Why do most people have a hard time thinking of good INFJ careers for you? Let’s look at three reasons.
Many introverts don’t enjoy talking with people they don’t know well about topics they’re not interested in. They’d rather spend time with someone familiar talking about their passion.
No matter how much you dislike small talk, there are times you’ll have to engage in it. It’s a social custom and a good one in that it allows you and an acquaintance to build trust.
I’ve discovered that many of my own problems with small talk have to do with my thoughts. They’re often self-critical, or my focus is misdirected. Changing the way I think about my interactions with other people quickly and significantly improves my small talk. Changing the way you think about yours will do the same for you.
Try these quick hacks to improve your small talk in seconds.
Do you remember the day you found out you were an INFJ?
The day I learned I was an INFJ was a turning point for me. I started to feel less like a messed-up, broken outsider and more like a valid human being with unique perspectives and gifts to contribute to the world. I started moving down the path of self-discovery, and the further I went, the more my life started to make sense.
Jon flopped on the sofa and reached for the remote. He was looking forward to a night of nothing, after staying late at the office all week. He pressed the power button and flipped the foot rest up on his La-Z-Boy. That’s when Jane marched in.
“You remember that we have dinner plans with the McCoy’s, don’t you? There’s absolutely no way I’m staying in this stuffy, old house any longer. We stayed home last weekend, and I am NOT doing it again!”
Have you ever found yourself in this situation or one like it? If you’re an introvert married to an extrovert, your answer is probably “Yes.”
While introverts and extroverts complement each other and make a great team, their differences can also drive each other nuts, so what can you do to keep the tone of your marriage positive and work through your differences? Consider these six suggestions.
I’m glad you asked. I applaud your healthy curiosity and willingness to learn more about the quiet people around you. While I can’t speak for all introverts, I can give you a glimpse of what being an introvert is like for me.
Allow me to take you inside my head for a quick look at what it’s like to be an introvert.
Do you ever get the INFJ blues? I do routinely. One day, I’ll be feeling encouraged and motivated and the next I’ll be down in the dumps. I’m learning that it’s part of being an INFJ.
Just tonight, the dark side of my personality confronted me again. A family member gave me some constructive criticism that I wasn’t expecting, and as he did, the sun disappeared from my proverbial sky.
I hate when I get depressed. I feel trapped and start to question whether or not any of my hopes and dreams will ever come true. Sometimes I just don’t know how to shake the heavy feelings or change my mood.
Have you been there?
While I’m not a counselor and I don’t have it all figured out, I have found several strategies that help me.
On what should have been my first day of kindergarten, I hid under the bed, unwilling to trade the quiet familiarity of my home for the unsettling clamor of elementary school. My mother determined that I needed another year of preschool, bless her heart.
Since that time, I’ve managed to integrate somewhat successfully into society at large, but there are still many challenges that confront me as an introvert living in an extroverted culture. They are the same ones that confront every introvert at some time or another.
In this post, I’ll share what are, in my opinion, the top 5 introvert struggles.
If you’re like most of us, your answer to that question is a resounding yes. While some disagree, arguing that INFJ logic can eliminate this need, it’s safe to say that most INFJs seek validation from others – especially those closest to them. They want the world to approve of their thoughts and feelings and appreciate them for who they are. But why is this the case? Why do INFJs long to be validated?