INFJs enjoy few things more than seeing people change and grow. Our intuition and desire to help others make us natural coaches, counselors, and teachers. But we also love to experience personal transformation. And one of the best ways to continually invest in personal growth is to read (or listen to) great books.

If it weren’t for the books I’ve read over the past few years, I most likely wouldn’t be blogging, YouTubing, or podcasting to encourage other INFJs. The ideas and messages I’ve read over the past few years have changed me.

Thinking about that fact made me ponder which books have changed me most. I keep a running list of the books that I read each year, so I took a few minutes to review the past three years. In this post, I’ll share the top 5 non-fiction books – and an honorable mention – that impacted my life. They’re books you’ll enjoy and that will change you if you apply their lessons and take advantage of their insights.

What stresses out an INFJ?

At work, I’m usually most stressed out when I have to juggle a number of responsibilities at the same time. When I’m working on an evaluation, doling out makeup assessments, tracking missed homework, answering the phone during lessons, responding to emails, turning in behavior updates, adding calendar events, and contacting parents – often at the same time – I feel more than a bit overwhelmed. None of the tasks or to-dos by itself is too much, but juggling several at once is too much.

Other times, the major source of stress in my life is interpersonal conflict – or at least perceived interpersonal conflict. To get my point across, I have to get to the bottom line fast and be extremely direct. Otherwise, certain people won’t listen to me. And since we INFJs like to be careful, kind, and encouraging with our words, direct communication can seem harsh and insensitive, so we try to avoid it at all costs.

Why are details and direct communication so stressful for an INFJ? And what can we do about them?

In a previous post, I shared several suggestions that can help you enjoy more interesting conversations. The strategies are most helpful when you’re talking to down-to-earth, practical, “here-and-now” people. When these folks are friends, family members, or coworkers, the work it takes to go deep is often worth the results.

But how can you have a conversation that you’ll really enjoy? And how can you find a suitable conversation partner who shares your passions and interests?

“Am I an INFJ or ISFJ?” Have you ever asked that question?

When you’re initially trying to figure out which personality type fits you better, it can be a bit confusing – especially if you’re relying solely on the preferences (e.g. I/E, N/S, etc.).

If you look a bit deeper, and keep in mind a few general tendencies and patterns that are true of each type, figuring out which you are becomes a bit easier.

To that end, let’s take a look at several differences between INFJs and ISFJs to help you tell which you are.

As we saw in part one of this series on INFJ Superpowers, introverted intuition (Ni) is an amazing treasure trove of gifts for INFJs. But Ni isn’t the only cognitive function that enables INFJs to do what they do best.

Even though INFJs are introverts, they have an extroverted side to them too. It’s called extroverted feeling (Fe). Fe is the most conscious extroverted cognitive function, or mindset, in an INFJ’s function stack and a powerful force in his or her personality. (Check out my free eBook to learn more about the INFJ function stack.)

In this article, we’ll take a look why Fe is so important. We’ll also explore six more INFJ superpowers.

Recently, a group of fellow INFJs and I were discussing INFJ Superpowers, the things that we do better than other personality types. The discussion invariably turned to INFJ cognitive functions, or mindsets, and the first and second ones in particular (introverted intuition and extroverted feeling). During our discussion, we tossed around a number of ideas that fit into three main categories:

• Strengths related to introverted intuition (Ni) – (Part 1)
• Strengths related to extroverted feeling (Fe) – (Part 2)
• Strengths related to the intersection of both Ni and Fe – (Part 3)

Over the next three weeks, we’ll take a look at each of these three categories, in turn, starting with Ni-driven strengths. By the end, hopefully, you’ll come away with knowledge that will help you…

• Better understand what you bring to the table when you’re working with a team
• Help you focus and maximize your personal development
• Increase your impact on the world
• Enjoy life more as you start engaging in energizing activities that yield better results

And by the way, this is by no means an exhaustive list. So please add your own thoughts, insights, and reflections in the comments below.

“You always need a mountain to climb.”

That’s what my father often told my mother. What he meant was that she was happiest when learning a new skill, solving a problem, or tackling a difficult challenge. She’d never be content following the same old processes and procedures for any length of time.

This is true of INFJs too. We’re often happiest when we’re learning new skills and researching interesting topics.

Last week, another INFJ reminded me how much we love to learn and grow. He said he’d typically move onto a new skill or topic every two years. Once he’d master something, he’d lose interest, even if he was good enough to garner 1.3 million views on YouTube.

Can you relate? Do you bounce from interest to interest every couple years? Or do you wonder whether or not you have the capacity to stick with a skill or interest for any length of time?

What’s an INFJ’s greatest opportunity for growth? Answer: Extroverted feeling (Fe).

In plain English, Fe is the ability to pick up on people’s emotions and promote group harmony. It zeroes in on pleasing others. And it’s the reason so many INFJs are excellent caretakers, listeners, and humanitarians.

Fe is also a function that INFJs develop over time. While it doesn’t come as quickly or naturally as introverted intuition (Ni), INFJs’ dominant cognitive function (or mindset), it’s still vital to personal growth.

In general, INFJs with a strong grasp of Fe enjoy…

• Better social skills and emotional intelligence
• More opportunities to influence others with their ideas, theories, and observations
• Healthier relationships with family, friends, and coworkers
• A greater long-term impact on the world

So if you really want to grow as an INFJ, you’d be wise to intentionally exercise this function. In this article, we’ll take a deeper look at why Fe is an INFJ’s greatest opportunity for growth as well as explore several specific ways you can develop it.

Do you have a hard time putting what’s in your head into words? Do you wish you could speak more clearly and that others understood you better?

If you answered “yes,” you’re not alone. Many INFJs struggle to keep their words succinct and to-the-point because there’s so much going on in their minds all at once. At any given moment, an INFJ may be…

• Tracing patterns
• Searching for underlying meanings
• Processing verbal and nonverbal signals
• Replaying a prior conversation
• Wrestling with deep questions
• Figuring out which feelings are hers and which are someone else’s
• Planning the future
• Etc.

The INFJ mind is a gift and curse: it allows an INFJ to make incredible connections, see the big picture, and predict likely futures. But it also makes clear, linear communication a challenge.

And to-the-point, straightforward talk is what most people in the world are looking for.

The good news is that you can improve your communication skills. If you’d like to get better at sharing what’s on your mind clearly and concisely, check out these five strategies.