“What does it feel like to be an introvert?”

Dear extrovert,

I’m glad you asked. I applaud your healthy curiosity and willingness to learn more about the quiet people around you. While I can’t speak for all introverts, I can give you a glimpse of what being an introvert is like for me.

Allow me to take you inside my head for a quick look at what it’s like to be an introvert.

1. Thoughts

Let’s start with the thoughts. In my head, there’s a sea of them. I think about…

• Future plans
• Creative ideas and possibilities
• What people around me are thinking and feeling
• Whether I’m living life to the fullest
• How I can fulfill my potential
• My failures and social shortcomings
• Music and songs
• Whatever other people are talking about

That’s not an exhaustive list – just a sample.

What I want you to know is that when I’m not saying much and I look disengaged and detached, I’m actually participating in my mind. I prefer to work out my ideas by mentally rehearsing and reflecting on them, rather than talking about them with other people.

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2. Energy

In a silent room with a book or computer or in a wild trout stream with a few friends, I feel at home. These settings provide me with a comfortable amount of stimulation, and they give me time to think. They’re somewhat private, so they boost my energy by allowing me to…

• Learn about subjects that interest me
• Imagine and create
• Talk with close friends, listen to them, and hang out without saying much at all
• Appreciate and enjoy nature

In contrast, bright lights, crowds of unfamiliar people, and small talk over-stimulate and drain me. I’d rather not attend or visit…

• Block parties
• New Year’s celebrations
• Fireworks displays
• Fairs
• Amusement parks

For the most part, they stress me out.

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3. Action

I like to prepare and “test the waters” before I dive in. I’m by nature a cautious person who prefers to observe before participating. Before I join a game or group, I almost always…

1. Acclimate – I get used to the environment and try to figure out group dynamics and social expectations.
2. Organize my thoughts – I figure out what I’m really thinking and feeling. Sometimes there’s so much going on in my head it’s hard to tell.
3. Create a game plan – I mentally hash out who I’ll talk to and what I’ll say.
4. Then, make a move – Finally, I push myself out into the world and start connecting with others.

In my first few years of teaching, I didn’t say much to any of the other teachers. I hadn’t observed long enough to figure out who was safe and trustworthy.

Eight years later, I’m starting to let my guard down a bit more and show my co-workers more of the real me, but there are still things I keep to myself.

The bottom line is that it can take me a long time to really warm up to new people.

[clickToTweet tweet=”‘It can take a long time for an introvert to develop trust with people.'” quote=”‘It can take a long time for an introvert to develop trust with people.'” theme=”style3″]

That’s what it’s like to be an introvert from my point of view.

Fellow introverts, what does being an introvert feel like for you?